On the ship!

Got checked in on the ship and with the several hours left in Barcelona decided to check out the La Sagrada Familia temple.  OMG!! It was absolutely spectacular.  Antoni Gaudi began design of this temple in the late 1800s and it is beyond description.  His architecture was unique to say the least.  This temple was built to honor the Holy Family.  When someone describes something as being "gaudy" it comes from his designs.  However, I will never again use that word in a negative way - the man was brilliant.  The temple is a masterpiece of architecture - he used "organic" materials as his inspiration and the temple was built with numerous internal pillars that give the sense of being under a forest canopy.  The pillars begin to branch off like trees would.  He also used parabolas, hyperboles in his designs, and a spiral opening at the top allows light to enter over the altar.  It had spiral staircases designed after a sea shell, too many groupings of incredible stained glass windows to mention as well as the exterior being numerous spires and carvings of biblical scenes.  I felt like I could cry just being awed and mesmerized by Gaudi's genius - it is incredibly inspiring.  Wasn't really sure I liked Barcelona until I saw it.

Came onto ship and experienced without a doubt the best massage I have ever had.  I love massage however usually avoid them because I feel so self conscious about my body - I find myself believing that only beautiful people with awesome bodies should have them.  I did book one nonetheless and it was a bamboo massage where they use large reeds of bamboo rollers to perform deep tissue massage.  Once I relaxed I found myself wondering why I only do this for myself while on vacation.  I really don't take very good care of myself most of the time...I would encourage my family or friends to have massage but then think that it was too indulgent, expensive etc. for myself.  Almost too self absorbed a practice.  How dare I?

Once I succumbed to the idea I allowed the therapist to remove the tensions I routinely carry around in my body.  I lay there realizing that the analogy of accepting the massage applies to other areas of my life - I realized how many times I am afraid to "bare myself" to others because I am afraid they may see the parts of me I don't like.  If people really could see how "messy" and "unorganized" I am, they could not possibly accept me.  I tire of living like this - not accepting myself as I really am and constantly criticizing myself for my flaws.  I find myself pondering how to overcome this tendency.  I want to be genuine and comfortable in my own skin but it remains a challenge.  A good deal of the stress in my life comes from me  - I put very high expectations on myself.  I will continue on this trip to strategize about how I can bring my "vacation" experience home with me - so that I can learn to live as if on vacation instead of living for my next vacation.

From Amsterdam to Barcelona

Last day in Amsterdam - I really want to come back here someday. It just has a terrific feel to the place. And the cheese! The cheese here is so much more REAL (?) than ours at home - it is so smooth and flavorful but not too flavorful. My friends who have immigrated to Canada must really miss this - European meals are very mindful, relaxed and shared. Breakfasts at our hotel were a help yourself offering of several types of fresh breads, cheeses, some deli meats, yogurts, granolas, jams and usually fruit. They also had an omelet bar and the brown eggs must have come straight from the farm - there was a chicken feather on the cardboard flat that held the eggs! Nobody hurries and the meal is simple and healthy - just nothing processed in sight...hurray! The only time I felt uncomfortable while here was when we had the obligatory visit to see the red light district. It is just as they say - women skimpily dressed standing in front of windows while people "window shop"...so hard to understand and sad. Interestingly, we saw a number standing there texting while posing...seems weird. Sarah was disturbed by the signs for the live sex shows. Thankfully, this is a fringe element and not the society as a whole. It feels really odd to be on this type of trip without my entire immediate family. I love spending time with Sarah but find myself wanting to share some aspect with Bob or the boys. Trying to really feel ok with it. Barcelona is so different - doesn't seems as relaxed as Amsterdam. I didn't like that the hotel clerk suggested we remove our jewelry before walking down the plaza toward the pier. The cruise agent at the airport warned us that theft is common and then the hotel staff made a point to instruct us on the use of the safe. It is a very nice hotel but that was a bit unnerving. And then we walked a long distance down to the pier and decided to take a taxi back. The driver said he didn't speak good English but was happy to take us. We drove a very long way - I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt with the one way streets and all but after so much driving/turning through the streets I left feeling that he'd take us for the "scenic route". What I spend so much time looking at is the amazing architecture in Europe. I just cannot get over that these very ornate buildings (and many are 5 or six floors high) were built in the 1800s! The centre of Amsterdam is preserved with the original buildings for the most part. Here in Barcelona at the heart of the city there are very old buildings that have carvings, very ornate balcony railings on every window. How did they do that? Old fashioned scaffolding, pulleys and hand carved stones - would have loved to have seen the building of one of these back then. Barcelona is interesting in that it's very old buildings might have a newer one squeezed in among the old architecture. The buildings we've seen in Europe are connected at the sides so in essence it appears as one large building but if you look closely you see that they are built distinctly with different rooflines etc. Makes me wonder if they performed a demolition somehow to build in the"new" one. Can also see where they have added a couple of stories on much later - usually with minimal attempt to replicate the original architecture. This city is 2.5 million people and though beautiful, I am not convinced I would want to return... Did go out for their common "tapas" for dinner. You order several small plates and share them - it is a neat way to share the meal - you don't find yourself wishing you'd had what your friend ordered! Tomorrow we are onto the ship. Haven't turned on the tv once - yeah!!

Amsterdam

What am I learning while in Amsterdam? This is an incredible place. We arrived into the pouring rain and came to the hotel at 9 am. We were exhausted from the long flight and were not sure what we would do while waiting for our room - our rooms were ready so they let us in at 9 am!! Unheard of... Took a short nap then out to the streets. The Dutch are SO TALL! If I could describe what I observed of the people in 2 words it would be "not uptight". It is poring rain and the streets are full of people going along doing their business with their umbrellas. Only rarely see someone talking or texting on a cell phone. Dress is casual comfort but stylish (lots os scarves wrapped loosely). Minimal makeup. The people are not unfriendly - they are helpful if you ask but mostly don't go out of their way to smile and be friendly (unless in the hospitality industry). A feeling of acceptance. Sarah noted that she really liked that the people respect your personal space - the streets are full of people yet they don't crowd you and people are polite. Common to see public displays of affection. Couples are holding hands or have their arms around each other's shoulders. How do I describe what I am feeling? That here I have already learned that I need to relax more and live in the moment. That is what they seem so good at - not being worried all the time about the next thing, or about materialistic pursuits. I see people all over who are enjoying a drink or leisurely meal but talking, laughing, connecting with their friends. No fast food to speak of. Everywhere you look people seem to be connecting. The bicycles - major modes of transportation are bicycles or walking. And these are not your fancy multi geared fancy bikes. Just coaster brakes, very used, possibly with saddle bags or a makeshift plastic crate fixed to the front handlebars. We saw a child of about 8 standing on the back of his Dads bike as his Dad wove through the streets. Literally standing on the small flat back wheel cover and just loosely holding on to his Dads back. Or women sitting "side saddle on the back wheel plate while their companion drove. Saw all modes of dress riding bikes - these are not your fitness buffs -it is everyone. Dresses, high heels,even a guy in a tie (although I didn't see much of the professional attire we see). Seems like suits and ties wouldn't be embraced he because they would be too restrictive and comfort is king. Wrinkles are ok - bet irons aren't used much. Why do we get so hung up on that type of expectation. I see my kids leaving the house with wrinkled clothes and I say, no, bring me that so I can iron it. After all, what would people think of me if I let my kids out with wrinkles? I sense here that life is about the here and now and living in the moment. While on the segway tour (which not surprisinly is run by North Americans who have moved here), i saw some graffiti that said "i feel perfect about being imperfect". That is my lesson from this - everything does not have to be perfect, live right now.