On the ship!

Got checked in on the ship and with the several hours left in Barcelona decided to check out the La Sagrada Familia temple.  OMG!! It was absolutely spectacular.  Antoni Gaudi began design of this temple in the late 1800s and it is beyond description.  His architecture was unique to say the least.  This temple was built to honor the Holy Family.  When someone describes something as being "gaudy" it comes from his designs.  However, I will never again use that word in a negative way - the man was brilliant.  The temple is a masterpiece of architecture - he used "organic" materials as his inspiration and the temple was built with numerous internal pillars that give the sense of being under a forest canopy.  The pillars begin to branch off like trees would.  He also used parabolas, hyperboles in his designs, and a spiral opening at the top allows light to enter over the altar.  It had spiral staircases designed after a sea shell, too many groupings of incredible stained glass windows to mention as well as the exterior being numerous spires and carvings of biblical scenes.  I felt like I could cry just being awed and mesmerized by Gaudi's genius - it is incredibly inspiring.  Wasn't really sure I liked Barcelona until I saw it.

Came onto ship and experienced without a doubt the best massage I have ever had.  I love massage however usually avoid them because I feel so self conscious about my body - I find myself believing that only beautiful people with awesome bodies should have them.  I did book one nonetheless and it was a bamboo massage where they use large reeds of bamboo rollers to perform deep tissue massage.  Once I relaxed I found myself wondering why I only do this for myself while on vacation.  I really don't take very good care of myself most of the time...I would encourage my family or friends to have massage but then think that it was too indulgent, expensive etc. for myself.  Almost too self absorbed a practice.  How dare I?

Once I succumbed to the idea I allowed the therapist to remove the tensions I routinely carry around in my body.  I lay there realizing that the analogy of accepting the massage applies to other areas of my life - I realized how many times I am afraid to "bare myself" to others because I am afraid they may see the parts of me I don't like.  If people really could see how "messy" and "unorganized" I am, they could not possibly accept me.  I tire of living like this - not accepting myself as I really am and constantly criticizing myself for my flaws.  I find myself pondering how to overcome this tendency.  I want to be genuine and comfortable in my own skin but it remains a challenge.  A good deal of the stress in my life comes from me  - I put very high expectations on myself.  I will continue on this trip to strategize about how I can bring my "vacation" experience home with me - so that I can learn to live as if on vacation instead of living for my next vacation.